Oakland Blood Bowl League

Some Kind of Monsters vs. Horn to the Groin

Some Kind of Monsters Win!
2 - 1

Blood Bowl XI

Once again, the eyes of the world turned to the pageantry that is the Blood Bowl. Blood Bowl XI was not for the faint of heart as the forces of darkness and chaos, embodied by 30,000 wailing fans, filled OBBL Stadium to capacity. Neither Horn to the Groin nor Some Kind of Monsters expected a high scoring, wide open affair. Both sides realized that their path to glory lay in the punishment that only a concentrated ground game could provide.

As has become customary, the MVP of the preceding Blood Bowl met the team captains at center pitch for the ceremonial coin toss. The fans hissed as mighty Hamlet, famed Lightning Rider blitzer, hero of BBX and spokeself for Block & Dodger Power Tools, flipped the coin. Horn's fans roared as their team won the toss and elected to receive.

The fans and the chaos gods screamed for blood as the teams set up for kickoff. Horn's fans howled with delight as Surely I'll Be Crippled took the field with a bag chocked full of Gromskull's Exploding Runes. The pro-Monster contingent saw their club employ some dirtiness of their own as The Livermore Larupper took the field sporting a fresh pair of Kicking Boots. With the teams ready to roll, The Larupper put boot to ball and BBXI was under way. Brilliant coaching came into play as Gyewhinr settled under the ball as the Horn looked poised to take the title.

Soon after Gyewhinr had corralled the ball, Surely began pitching runes about the pitch, knocking several Monsters to the turf. The teams traded blows as Gyewhinr made his way up the pitch. As the Horn's ground game set up, The Greatest saw a slight opening and blitzed his way in, knocking Gyewhinr to the pitch and popping the ball loose. Several players rushed for the ball. Surely saw the scrum and smartly tossed an exploding rune into the fray. His aim was true as the rune sent three Monsters to the pitch, which opened up an opportunity for the Horn to recollect the ball. Kid Dynamite, on his back and covered near the sideline, overestimated his dodging abilities and crashed to the turf with a crunch, resulting in the game's first casualty. A moment later, Lm-Shibdeteh collected a routine handoff with elf-like agility and charged toward the open endzone. Unfortunately, he slipped on some confetti from the pre-game festivities and hit the turf just shy of the goal line, fumbling the ball into the endzone. The Larupper and Dr. Steelhammer converged on the ball. Steelhammer flubbed the pickup into the stands and into the hands of a Horn aficionado, who tossed it in Awowatebuko's direction, although the beastman was momentarily down. Awowatebuko was on his feet in a flash as he scooped up the ball and charged into the zone. 1-0 Horn.

As the teams reset for kickoff, the officials gave Surely the heave-ho (much to the fans' consternation). After some uneventful grabassing, the first half came to a close. The Horn was halfway home.

The teams exited the pitch for the halftime festivities, which included two 100 foot inflatable Mr. Potato Heads, one dressed as everyone's favorite Dark Lord of the Sith and the other dressed as a certain smart-mouthed astromech droid. The chaotic fans, who knew a thing or two about a galaxy far far away, clapped and cheered like a throng of drunken Ewoks as the teams emerged from the locker rooms. Again, boot met ball and the 2nd half was underway.

The second half began as Buster dropped deep to take the kickoff. The Gentlemen also dropped back to cover him as the dwarves did their jobs up front, knocking several beastmen to the turf. The Larupper, being the dirty hobgoblin he is, booted a fallen beastman in the groin, knocking him out. Some blocking and blitzing from The Greatest and Smokin' Joe opened up a running lane for Buster down the left sideline. After a sustained drive that ate up a good portion of the second half, Buster danced into the endzone nearly unmolested, evening up BBXI at 1-1.

The teams set up again as they saw time slipping away in the 2nd half. The Horn found themselves down a man as they received the kickoff. Some Horn and Monster fans took the opportunity to add some injury of their own, tossing rocks at and stunning both Gyewhinr and Big George. Some blocks were thrown and some dwarves were turfed as Okwego dashed back to take the kickoff, but he was unable to find the handle. The Greatest, Smokin' Joe and The Gentlemen took the initiative and dashed up the pitch, hoping to cause enough chaos to get a last chance to make a play on the ball before the half expired. Okwego finally collected the ball and charged up the pitch. Upamrus blitzed The Gentleman, but being a blodger is a good thing and The Gentleman kept his feet. With time almost out in the second half, The Greatest broke free of Gyewhinr's cover and blitzed Okwego, popping the ball free deep in Horn territory. The Gentleman, somehow sensing destiny, slipped free of Upamrus' cover, pounced on the ball and hustled for everything he had, crossing the goal line at the last possible instant. 2-1 Monsters.

A final kickoff and some meaningless blocks later, Some Kind of Monsters found themselves at Destiny's doorstep. With a 2-1 victory in BBXI, Lady Destiny greeted the Monsters with open arms.

Some Kind of Monsters

• Winnings: 120,000gp
• FF: 0

Horn to the Groin

• Winnings: 110,000gp
• FF: -1